Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Sorry about that chief.

My brain is filled with heaps of useless information, some of which is related to one of the greatest, if not the greatest, comedy shows of all time, Get Smart. It was so far ahead of its time. Here are a few snippets which I find very amusing.

CHIEF: All we know is that they threaten to wipe out the city containing our finest intellectual minds and greatest leaders.
MAX: Well, at least Washington is safe.

CHIEF: Max, I don't know what I'm going to do with you. You bungle assignment after assignment.
MAX: I resent that, Chief.
CHIEF: Do you deny it?
MAX: No, but I resent it.

SENATOR: Mr. Smart, how many arrests did Control make last year?
MAX: I don't know.
SENATOR: Who's the #1 man in your organization?
MAX: I don't know.
SENATOR: How many cases were assigned to Control last year?
MAX: I don't know.
SENATOR: What would you do if you were fired, Mr. Smart.
MAX: They can't fire me.
SENATOR: And why is that?
MAX: I know too much.

99: Sometimes, I wish you were just an ordinary buisnessman.
MAX: Well, 99, we are what we are. I'm a secret agent, trained to be cold, vicious, and savage. Not enough to be a buisnessman.

99: Oh, Max, how terrible.
MAX: He deserved it, 99. He was a Kaos killer.
99: Sometimes I wonder if we're any better, Max.
MAX: What are you talking about, 99? We have to shoot and kill and destroy. We represent everything that's wholesome and good in the world.

More lines can be found here.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005


adjourn, be dilatory, cool, dally, dawdle, defer, drag, gain time, goldbrick, hang fire, hesitate;

I should be writing my thesis.

hold off, lag, let slide, linger, loiter, pause, poke, postpone, prolong, protract, put off, retard;

I'll be starting my new job in late January and then I won't be able to focus on it as much.

shilly-shally, stall, stay, stooge around, suspend, tarry, temporize, wait;

I've done everything but.

boondoggle, diddle, dilly-dally, fool around, fool with, fritter away, hang about, horse around, idle;

But sometimes its healthy to procrastinate. It is a time for thinking. I have a habit of keeping items or tokens of things that I've done in my life. Stubs from movies I've seen, invites to parties that I've attended, train and plane tickets, letters written and cards received. I file these away into folders. Unfortunately not every event has its momento. Sorting out these odds and ends brings back memories. The last time I did this was probably back in '97. I kept things that at the time I thought I should throw away. They caused pain. But I kept them. When I look through these bits of history during these times of reflection and they still cause pain, then I throw them away. I did that the last time I sorted through my life when I came across some letters I received. I've only done that on a few occassions because sometimes those once hurtful items bring back memories of the good times shared. Then I keep them. Time does soften some regrets, but not all. I came across some very recent objects that depressed me but I resisted the urge to throw them away. It's too close in time. Maybe in a few years I'll look back and smile and be thankful for those memories.

Seniors Gig

Last night I went to the Corner to see the Kings of Moomba (a.k.a the Hoodoo Gurus). It was one for the old timers. As Miss Jade put it, "I feel so young." There I bumped into some of my friends who I haven't seen in ages. Just before I walked in, I heard my name being called out and it was Jorgen and Lisa. Then inside I saw a bunch of the McManus boys; Turtle, Snake, Scoop and Juc. Also there was Andy. I guy I went to uni with the first time around who also got me my first job after leaving uni. There is nothing like a band from the eighties to bring out those nearing their middle age.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Why I hate on-line self-help quizzes

I hate on-line quizzes just like this one. Here are some of the questions asked and my opinion on them.

1. Why are the age brackets ten years? I can't remember waking up different the day I turned 20, or even 30. Scrap this question.
2. Gender and sexual preference?????? Why does it matter? Irrelavent.
3. Grandparent still alive. What if you are adopted? How may you know? Impossible to answer this question.
4. Number of good friends. Define 'good'. Can't?? Next.
5. Religion. If you are not an athiest then (and I'm brutal about this) obviously you need a belief in a supernatural entity to make sure you stay a good person. Can't you be good without this imaginary being? You'll never be happy.
6. Are you employed? I recon we all would be happier if we were unemployed and lying on a beach in Tahiti.
7. Is there pollution in the air, water, or soil where you live? If you answer no to this question you must be living on Mars.
8. Do others regard you as a person of good character? Who will answer no to this question? Your friends will regard you as a person of good character otherwise they wouldn't hang out with you. Crim's regard other Crim's as good blokes.
9. Check off any pets that you have: Dog, cat, bird, fish, small mammal, reptile/amphibian, other.
What, a pet tiger and a pet octopus rate the same as a pet butterfly?
10. Are you gifted in any of these areas? One of the boxes is 'Computers'. Tick this box and you automatically fail.
11.Check any that would apply to you:
I could run a marathon - So if you are a sprinter and you are physiologically not built for distance running you are a worthless human being?
I read great literature - For the americans who do this quiz, Dan Brown is not, I repeat not, classified as great literature.
I am able to quote from a holy text - You are one sad crazy bible bashing freak who has never questioned their dogma once and if you knock on my door one more time I'll ..............
I give to charity - You just tick this box to make yourself feel better when in fact you complain if you are overcharged 5 cents.
I have an amazing best friend - Are they amazing because they can thread string up their nose and out of their mouth?
I take time to unclutter my mind - That is because you are stupid and can't think straight.
I commune with nature - Is this a polite way of saying 'I only wash once a month'?

ANGER RISING...........

Be grateful if you do poorly on this test.....