The Emperor's New Clothes

Don't you hate it when someone tells you to listen to this great new band, how you gotta go and see them play, and when you do they are not what everyone cranks them up to be. OK, maybe that particular performance wasn't their best, but when you've seen them a few times and they still sound crap, you can't be mistaken. The funny thing is that sometimes these bands get such glowing praise from those who are supposed to have music cred, that the average punter, who wants to look cool and hip, jumps on the bandwagon and becomes another sycophant too afraid to say that they don't like the band. I call these kinds of bands The Emperor's New Clothes. (This is not to disrespect the artist from England with the same name.) These are the types of bands that are crap, but everyone is blind to that fact except the few who don't fall for the hype.

Exhibit A
ENTER SHIKARI - Sorry You're Not A Winner
This band has been played to death on JTV and they are rubbish. This song tries to incorporate every genre of music from Death Metal to experimental electronica. Let me tell you something my grandpa once said to me, "That's like oil and water, sonny, they just don't mix".

PS. Rosie, the presenter of the show, is perplexed by how the singer gets that death metal voice. My advice to her is watch the friggin' video. He's using a voice effect!

Exhibit B
The Basics
I've seen these guys a few times and I still can't work out what the hype is all about. Music is supposed to be emotive. It's supposed to express what the band members are feeling. If that's the case, then these guys must be taking Novocaine, 'cause I get the impression that their not feeling much at all. Here's a suggestion, don't take yourselves so seriously. Lighten up.

Exhibit C
Aleks and the Ramps
Even the drummer left this band. No more needs to be said.